How the hell do I love myself?

Loving yourself.

I’ve enjoyed lots of conversations around this topic recently.

What does loving yourself actually mean?

Does it feel too vast and wide for you to step into?

Do you think it’s all a bit too woo woo for your liking?

Don’t worry I feel the same (and I teach this stuff!!)

Acceptance was thrown out on the table.

You know…..

Just accept yourself.

Easier said than done I replied.

Cos that would mean I would have to accept all the stuff I don’t like about myself.


I’m not sure if I’m ready to do that.

Accept that you are not ready to accept yourself?

(Hope you are keeping up here;) )

Accept that you don’t know where to start on loving yourself?

Accept that this is all just confusing mumbo jumbo? (I need to use this phase more often!!)

And instead of walking away from it all…..

Consider getting curious.

Look around you. Who in life looks like they accept themselves? Who is practicing self love and is rocking it out like a fucking rockstar?

Who talks about acceptance and self love with excitement and realness?

Go search for these people, devour everything they write, say, film.

Learn what you can.

Practice what you can on yourself.

Have fun with it.

Cos that’s what I’m doing.

Yours in acceptance (with a double dash of love) my friend.



Love, Star

Remembering, remembering, remembering….

I’ve just been whizzing around running errands and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what I have to do and where I’ve got to be.

As I drove back home I spied a stunningly attractive older woman stranded at a roundabout.

Her car was crumpled, she looked ok. I drove on.

But as I continued to drive home I couldnt stop thinking about her. So I swung my car around and drove back to her.

I stopped and asked if she was ok. The stunningly attractive older woman said yes she was ok, help was on its way.

At that moment I felt connected, deeply connected.

I wished the stunningly attractive older woman well and drove home much slower.

Remembering it’s not just about myself.

Remembering we are all in this together.

Remembering, remembering, remembering.

Love, Star

Fabulous Fear

We ALL experience fear when we gingerly step out of our comfort zones.

Smothering yourself in as much kindness you would give a small kitten is ESSENTIAL.

Instead of blasting through fear say a gentle hello and welcome fear into your heart.

Ask fear what she wants, how can you help her, what does she want to show you…..

When we embrace and not trample on our emotions we can experience them more fully (even if they are scary) and then when we are ready we can move through them.

Fear is ok – embrace her.

Love, Star

Conversations with my inner crazy

Where ever I go, what ever I do,
There you are.

Incessantly talking, rambling, preaching,
Telling me I’m not good enough.
I’m not smart enough,
I’m not this, I’m not that,
That other women/men/children/dogs/hamsters are better than me,
That my ideas stink,
That I’m destined to fail.

God I wish you would just…
Shut the fuck up!

But you don’t, you get louder and louder and LOUDER,
Until my head is a-spinning and my thoughts are all jumbled.

I want you to quieten down,
I want you to calm down.

Telling you to fuck off, shut up,
Ignoring you, shutting you down,
Just doesnt work.

So maybe if I acknowledge you,
Welcome you with open arms,
And ask what do you want and how can I help you…..

That seems to do the trick,
I can feel you breath a sigh of relief and relax.

You quieten down and now I, too can relax,
My thoughts start to unwind and
My mind settles down.

You no longer feel attacked,
You feel validated and heard.

For isn’t that what all of us really want in life?

Love, Star

Neediness is not a good look on you darling.

Feeling and being needy is not only going zap you of all your precious life energy, it is going to zap everyone elses energy around you.

Keep your senses alive to when you are starting to feel NEEDY.

Check back in with yourself FIRST before you start to suck the life out of everyone else to try and bolster your “feel good” tanks.

No one can make you feel happier or safer if you can’t do it yourself.

Yes I’m sure that having someone tell you that it will all be ok, that you are brilliant, that the sun shines out of your arse etc etc etc will make you feel better in that instant but unless you DO some deep rooted work on SELF then that feeling will just float away my friend.

NEEDINESS – it’s a call from your INNER self to check back in.

Love, Star