I guarantee that you cannot feel fucking happy & go-getting all the time, whatever all the positive happy clappers say to you.
And that can be a real bitch when you’ve got shit to get done.
Wednesday emotional wisdom coming your way……….
Feel ‘em, express ‘em and then get on with what you’ve got to do.
You don’t need to be in a good place to get shit done.
You just need to get shit done (if you’ve got shit to get done done!)
We ALL experience fear when we gingerly step out of our comfort zones.
Smothering yourself in as much kindness you would give a small kitten is ESSENTIAL.
Instead of blasting through fear say a gentle hello and welcome fear into your heart.
Ask fear what she wants, how can you help her, what does she want to show you…..
When we embrace and not trample on our emotions we can experience them more fully (even if they are scary) and then when we are ready we can move through them.
Fear is ok – embrace her.
Where ever I go, what ever I do,
There you are.
Incessantly talking, rambling, preaching,
Telling me I’m not good enough.
I’m not smart enough,
I’m not this, I’m not that,
That other women/men/children/dogs/
That my ideas stink,
That I’m destined to fail.
God I wish you would just…
Shut the fuck up!
But you don’t, you get louder and louder and LOUDER,
Until my head is a-spinning and my thoughts are all jumbled.
I want you to quieten down,
I want you to calm down.
Telling you to fuck off, shut up,
Ignoring you, shutting you down,
Just doesnt work.
So maybe if I acknowledge you,
Welcome you with open arms,
And ask what do you want and how can I help you…..
That seems to do the trick,
I can feel you breath a sigh of relief and relax.
You quieten down and now I, too can relax,
My thoughts start to unwind and
My mind settles down.
You no longer feel attacked,
You feel validated and heard.
For isn’t that what all of us really want in life?
Feeling and being needy is not only going zap you of all your precious life energy, it is going to zap everyone elses energy around you.
Keep your senses alive to when you are starting to feel NEEDY.
Check back in with yourself FIRST before you start to suck the life out of everyone else to try and bolster your “feel good” tanks.
No one can make you feel happier or safer if you can’t do it yourself.
Yes I’m sure that having someone tell you that it will all be ok, that you are brilliant, that the sun shines out of your arse etc etc etc will make you feel better in that instant but unless you DO some deep rooted work on SELF then that feeling will just float away my friend.
NEEDINESS – it’s a call from your INNER self to check back in.
Seek out things/ideas/projects that PULL you to them.
I call these the HELL YES’s (hell yes’s resonate with every fibre of your being!!!)
Things/ideas/projects that EXCITE you – investigate further.
Become curious as to what makes you HAPPY, then seek out more of that.
Sit down with a BIG pad of paper and over the next week scribble down whatever comes to you on these three lists….
1.WHAT DO I WANT MORE OF IN MY LIFE?
2.WHAT DON’T I WANT MORE OF IN MY LIFE?
3.HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL?
Start collecting pictures of anything that catches your eye. Then stick them on HUGE VISION boards and STARE at them daily.
Create vision board after vision board on pinterest of all things that you LOVE and check in daily/weekly.
SETTLE in to the fact that at times you may want a ton of things (cue super confusion – see below) and at other times you may have no idea at all (start at the top!)
FLIRT with being confused. I do this ALOT!!!
PRACTICE PATIENCE. As aligning yourself with your TRUE DESIRES will probably take time (soooo much time!)
Ask for help, talk about it with friends, top coaches, mentors.
PRACTICE shedding the “I should be doing this” and comparing yourself to everyone else!! (eeek super hard to do!)
And when it all gets too much and you hit overwhelm/mass confusion/frustration. STOP, take some time out. Go do something FUN!!!
So October is becoming synonymous with stopping something.
First it was cigarettes.
And now it is alcohol.
Now I don’t drink (gave that up 2 years ago) and I don’t smoke (gave that up 18 months ago).
But I want to get involved.
So I started thinking.
And it didn’t take me long to find something I could stop.
Drum roll please……………..
It’s Frivolous Spending.
I’ve been doing quite a bit of that lately.
The odd £10 on food.
The random £40 on a pair of jeans.
The sneaky £15 on beauty products.
The multiple £2.30 on my morning coffee.
It all adds up!
So I made a bold decision.
To stop frivolous spending.
I removed my debit cards from my purse and popped them into my safe.
Paypal is off limits.
If I want something (badly) I’ll write it down on my “needy” list and come back to it at the end of the month.
Most of my wants normally fizzle out after 7 days.
The ones that stay I’ll figure out a way to buy them by earning extra moolah.
And here’s the most important step…….
Whatever I buy in October (unless budgeted for in my accounts) has to be paid by cash.
Only cash purchases allowed.
Spending cash (for me) is a whole other ball game to online spending and paying with my cards.
It makes it REAL.
It makes me responsible.
And it stops me frittering away money.
I only started this on Thursday and I’ve already saved myself £40 in unnecessary purchases.
But I’ve got my eye on a big business investment and it’s only going to happen without my frivolous spending.
I’ve so got this!
Always, always, ALWAYS move your body.
Find something that you love to do.
It’s ok if what you love changes.
I have love affairs with the gym, pole dancing, yoga and pilates.
I just move towards the one discipline that I love the most (at the time).
It’s good to change it up.
It keeps it interesting.
Just keep moving your body.
And you body will keep moving.
Throughout all my work I put enormous emphasis on trust.
Trust your partner.
Trust your friends.
Trust something bigger than yourself!
So I loved reading this today!!!
TRUST – IT’S THE BOMB DIGGITY.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D, the epigenetic pioneer and cellular biologist, describes what happens at a cellular level that enables us to change our genetic potential.
His work is groundbreaking in showing how thoughts are literally things.
One of my favorite metaphors from his work is the fact that a cell is either in protection or growth. It can’t be in both at the same time.
If the cell is in lock-down mode, barricading itself against potential danger, all growth processes stop.
Apply this to your life and relationships: if you exist in a state of mistrust and fear, you aren’t growing.
How much do you trust yourself? Your ability to sense the truth and make decisions?
How much do you trust your intimate partner? To be honest with you and share his/her deepest truth?
How much do you trust life? To bring you what’s best for your growth at all times? If you let it.
Your ability to trust and surrender determines the depth and pleasure you can have in relationship and in life.
PS Kim Anami teaches an awesome, awesome course called The Well Fucked Woman. I took it and loved it!