The Big Leap

There is a book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap

I read it years ago (on recommendation from the utterly fabulous Rebecca Leone.)

I didn’t take much notice of it.

He talked about the idea that when we step up in a bigger version of ourselves our subconscious has a set point as to how fucking magnificent we can be.

And will sabotage all our efforts forthwith!


As I said I didn’t take much notice of it.


Last week when I closed my existing business.

Ready and willing to step up into my biggest, boldest version of me.

I suddenly found my bitch mode firmly activated.

I started to cause rows with my partner (for no reason).

We didn’t talk for days.

I continued being a bitch.


I spoke this all out to my friend.

I realised what I (or more importantly my subconscious) was doing.

The awareness hit me like a thunderbolt.

I stopped making excuses for cuntish behaviour.

I said sorry.

And I meant it.

I bid a strong fuck you to my subconscious.

She knows I’m watching her.


That makes all the difference.


Love, Star

When the mood takes you……

Ride it honey, ride it.

The only constant in life is change.

So when you are feeling up, FEEL IT!

Fling your hair back and jump in head first.

Embrace your energy spurts.

Straddle the waves of inspiration.

Enjoy the adrenaline pump.

And share the buzz with everyone around you.

Then when this moment passes (because all moments pass.)

Know that there will be another one.

Just around the corner.





Love, Star

Sneaky tactics

B.M (before I had morals) I was a total rogue and did anything and everything in power to get what I wanted in life.

Then something happened in my mid 30’s.

I appeared to grow some morals.

I couldn’t get away with being a rogue and not feel bad about it!

It sucked.

I had a conscious.

Having a conscious made me grow up and grow up fast.

But having a conscious helped me create my life values.

And three of my big players are loyalty, honesty and trust.

So when I try to do something this is not aligned with these 3 players.

Boy, oh boy does the universe let me know.

So no sneaky tactics for me.

Which sucks sometimes cos I just want to be sneaky!

But what I really need to be is honest, loyal and trusting even when others in my life aren’t (especially when others in my life aren’t.)




Love, Star


You can think about change, talk about change, make vision boards that support change.

But nothing really changes.

Until you action the change.

Less talk, more action.

And keep actioning.

Once you have actioned one part, the next (normally) shows up pretty easily.

Change is scary.

Not changing is scary.

I know what I prefer.


Love, Star


I’ve been addicted to:

1.  Believing the media’s definition on being a woman

2.  Touching things 3 times (and when I say touching things, I mean everybloodything in sight)

3.  Putting my fingers down my throat so I could attain #1

4.  Drinking alcohol

5.  One night stands

6.  Eating obsessively and then sticking my fingers down my throat so I could attain #1

7.  Buying stuff (shoes, handbags, clothes)

8.  Smoking

9.  Controlling my first husband

10. Working

11. Sneakily spending money (hello credit card)

12. Studying

13. Drinking alcohol (2nd time this has made an appearance, trust me I drank a lot!!)

14. Cocaine

15. Speed/MDMA

16. Luxury goods (3rd time this has made an appearance, trust me I spent a lot!)

17. Plastic surgery (so I could attain #1)

18. Sleeping tablets

19. Bodybuilding/figure competing (so I could attain #1)

20. Obsessive thoughts (see #2) (still addicted but have many daily rituals that calm the voices down)

21. External praise (still love me some external praise)

22. Drama

23. Coffee (still addicted – zero shame)

24. Sugar (sugar’s a bitch, she’s everywhere and she’s so enticing, currently toying with this addiction, read into that what you may)

That’s quite a list I’ve racked up over the years.

I’m not sharing to impress you but to impress upon you (OMG I’ve always wanted to use this cheesy line!) that change can happen.

But you have got to really, really want it.

It’s no good sitting on the fence, you need that deep, deep resonance that pulsates through your body.

You can read all about it.

You can take all the courses in the world

But ultimately no one can make you change.

It comes from within.

It always come from within.

Love, Star

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but all those quick fixes, instant results, 10 steps to freedom/happiness/person of your dreams you keep hearing about….

All are utter bullshit.

Anything that is an ingrained habit;

For example…..

You have no set routine to eating and haven’t done for the past 1 – 2 years,

You consistently spend into your overdraft,

You can’t remember the last time you decluttered the wardrobes,

The only exercise you do is heaving the lawnmower out of the shed in the springtime…..

Is going to take the TRIPLE D’s to start new habits*.  (Side note: it’s much easier to start new habits than to break old ones, but see tomorrow’s post for my take on breaking old habits)

“What the hell are The TRIPLE D’s?”  I hear you cry.

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Desire – Know what you want, what you really, really want (cue Spice Girls.)  Most people don’t spend enough time finding out if they really want something and what it’s going to do for them long term.  Take your time figuring it out at this stage and you will benefit further down the line.

Discipline – A dirty word to our culture nowadays.  But we all need discipline “the action of training oneself to do something in controlled and habitual ways.”  You only have to look at the yoga sutras, eastern philosopy and buddishm to see that discipline really is a hot trait to cultivate.

Discipline may sound boring and it is, but this is where most people slide off dramatically when starting new habits.  Establishing new habits are boring, they are monotonous and they are challenging.  You know what?  Just get on with it.  Which leads me beautifully to….

Devotion –  If you are devoted to something “to give ALL or most of one’s time or resources to” you are 99.9% more likely to keep trucking on.    When establishing a new habit, make it a habit (see what I did there!!) to check your devotion levels.  If you are bottoming out, say 3/10 then I would shelve this new habit but if you are flying high at 9/10 or even 10/10 then full steam ahead baby!!!

Change does not happen over night.

Stop falling for slimy marketing tactics.

Stay away from quick fixes.

Change is challenging.

Change is hard work.

Change is frustrating.

The body and mind love the path of the least resistance.

So do your homework.

Give the TRIPLE D’s some attention.

And get stuck into creating your new habits.


* I am 100% assuming that these new habits are good, clean fun ones (not habits to eat more cake, drink more tequila and lay around more!!!)


Love, Star

Some people will get on your tits!

It’s true, some people can really aggravate us.

It’s ok.

But first before you stab them with a rusty fork check in with yourself and ask the following:

1. Am I in a shitty mood today?

2. Am I in a shitty mood today?

3. Am I in a shitty mood today?

Once you have cleared up the possibility that you are not in a shitty mood today……

Give yourself some space around this person.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel about them.

You know, some people are just cocks.

And some people are just in a shitty mood today.


Side note:-

If this person is your partner/boss/child/self*

Try the following….

1. Ask yourself – am I in a shitty mood today?

2. Create space to breath

3. Notice your reactions (put down the rusty fork!!!!)

4. Treat this person with as much kindness and love as you can possibly magic up (trust me we all have a ton of love and kindness inside us)

5. Breath (put down the rusty fork!!)

6. Know that this too shall pass and if it doesn’t then pick up the rusty fork!!!!

NOOOOOoooooo I was kidding.

Create some time to t-a-l-k to said person and see if you can work through it.

Sometimes we can and sometimes we can’t.

If we can’t return back to no.1 rinse & repeat.

How many times you rinse and repeat is up to you.

But don’t throw away a long term investment for  a short term feeling.

Love, Star