There is a book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap
I read it years ago (on recommendation from the utterly fabulous Rebecca Leone.)
I didn’t take much notice of it.
He talked about the idea that when we step up in a bigger version of ourselves our subconscious has a set point as to how fucking magnificent we can be.
And will sabotage all our efforts forthwith!
As I said I didn’t take much notice of it.
Last week when I closed my existing business.
Ready and willing to step up into my biggest, boldest version of me.
I suddenly found my bitch mode firmly activated.
I started to cause rows with my partner (for no reason).
We didn’t talk for days.
I continued being a bitch.
I spoke this all out to my friend.
I realised what I (or more importantly my subconscious) was doing.
The awareness hit me like a thunderbolt.
I stopped making excuses for cuntish behaviour.
I said sorry.
And I meant it.
I bid a strong fuck you to my subconscious.
She knows I’m watching her.
That makes all the difference.